My wife cannot tell a story.
There. I have delivered my point in six words. And now I will explain.
"Oh, I can too tell a story," she says, pouting. "I can tell a story as well as any person alive. Except for maybe my friend Kana, who has a special gift. And yesterday she also had this stunning new dress that she bought in Ikebukuro. Personally, I never shop there because it's over-crowded, but they have snazzy restaurants too. Yet, I prefer to eat at home."