# You too can become a millionaire!

##### by Amy Chavez

In the present economic downturn, you might feel you don’t have much to look forward to financially. But I’m here to tell you — don’t despair! You have a lot more money than you think you do. It’s just a matter of finding it.

Here are a few tips on how to become a millionaire. Foreign exchange rate Many people are rushing to pick up some extra money in the foreign exchange market. With the strong yen right now, and the weak U.S. dollar, it may be tempting to take some of your hard earned cash and convert it into dollars to take advantage of the great exchange rate.

But the truth is, while the exchange rate may be at its best right now, you’re still better off keeping the money you have. Why? Let’s say you make ¥300,000 per month (a 6-digit monthly salary mind you), and you decide to change that entire sum into dollars at the current exchange rate of ¥84.52 to the dollar. That will yield \$3,549. Now, why would you prefer to have 3,549 of something rather than 300,000 of it? Especially when it’s exactly the same thing — money! Remember your basic elementary school mathematics: 300,000 will always be more than 3,549. Feeling richer yet?

Asking for a raise Perhaps the easiest way to increase your income without doing any extra work is to ask your boss for a raise. There is no financial penalty for asking, so you may as well pop the question. How much should you ask for? In the U.S., most people aspire to a 6-digit income. But you can be much richer than that! In Japan, you can make millions doing the same job people do in the U.S. for much less money. At ¥300,000 per month for example, you’re making a total of ¥3,600,000 per year! It would take a long time just to count that much money!

And this is where Americans are missing the point. In the U.S., it’s all about digits. Ask any American if they wouldn’t be happy with a 6-digit income and they’ll say yes. But a good income is not about digits — it’s about commas. Not to be greedy, but wouldn’t you rather have a two-comma salary than a 6-digit one? You might be thinking I am going back on what I said about basic mathematics: That six will always be more than two. But in this case, we are not comparing the same thing. Digits are numbers and commas are punctuation. Punctuation just doesn’t get enough credit in the math world. So the next time you ask your boss for a raise, tell her you want an increase in commas, not digits. It’s the commas that make you rich. Saving money Most people are very, very rich. But a lot of their money is tied up in retirement savings that they cannot access until they retire. Whose idea was this?! “Retirement” is a euphemism for “near death.” Why wait that long to enjoy life? And some people, especially artist/writer/musician types may only become rich after they’re dead. How fair is that? What is going on here?

I’ll tell you who is behind it — God is. He is keeping all your money up there — and collecting interest. All the ATMs in the world are hooked up to God and that’s why when you put money into the ATM, your bank passbook gives you, in exchange, numbers. Those numbers are little IOUs from God. Those ATM deposits are basically donations that you will get back at some later date. God always pays back, but on his terms. And for some people they don’t get paid back until after they are dead.

This is what happened to James Dean, a famous actor who became much more famous after he died. When Jimmy was a rising star, he started making big deposits into the ATM. God didn’t expect Jimmy Dean to die so early, but as soon as he did, God gave him his money back, along with interest. That’s how Jimmy Dean became a very rich man after his death.

Sometimes you’ll go to the ATM to withdraw money, and the machine won’t let you withdraw as much money as you’d like. The machine has a withdrawal limit. This is because, in especially lean times, God limits the amount of money you can take out at one time so he has more access to your cash.

It’s understandable that God needs a steady, reliable stream of income because God has a lot of expenses. He has a whole staff of angels to pay plus the saints. Take St. Peter for example — imagine that guy’s salary! God is probably still paying off the Pearly Gates, especially if they’re made out of Mikimoto pearls. See? Things could be much worse. At least you don’t have the Pearly Gates to pay off!

All in all, you should be feeling pretty good about your financial situation by now. You are a very rich, very lucky person. So stop worrying!

And remember, above all things: “God provides.”