| May 29, 2010

An ode to aging English teachers

“I haven’t lost a beat,” he tells me. “He” being an old friend. The adjective is qualified by both his appearance and our years of association. He sports gray hair, wrinkles, bifocals . . . And what he has really lost is his way ...

| May 15, 2010

Disposing of a sticky problem

The answer to the disposable chopsticks problem is now at hand. And it always has been. We should all just eat with our fingers. And I knew disposable chopsticks were a problem the minute I laid eyes on them, which was at lunch on ...

| Apr 17, 2010

How I lost my wife to the B-Boys

I suppose it had to happen some day. I am a regular sort of joe and my wife is a honey. I couldn’t tie her down forever; I should have known. “I’m sorry,” she tells me. “But there’s just no denying true love.” What ...

| Mar 27, 2010

Big faces leave big impressions

I recently unearthed vital trivia stating that the average American will consume 35,000 cookies in his/her lifetime. There you have it — proof I am above average. And I am pleased to have such an easy way to measure myself against my countrymen. For ...

| Mar 20, 2010

Here comes the never-ending season

The season is here . . . again. As if it ever ended. I do not refer to Japanese baseball, which absorbs too much attention even through the “so-called” off months, when info-starved sports junkies suck up every bare morsel of non-news. If, for ...

| Mar 6, 2010

A brooper a day

This past fall I received an e-mail from a student traveling in France. There was a photo attached and the mail announced it would be a shot of cows eating “glass.” Now that’s a rare shot, I thought, and scrolled down with fair enthusiasm. ...

| Feb 20, 2010

Stuck in a not so hairy situation

One way I kill time on my monotonous commutes across municipal Tokyo is to scout out the hairpieces in the strap-hanger set. It’s sort of like bird-watching. Be patient, observant and sooner or later your reward will come. Like maybe a genuine, blue-suited rug-wearer, ...