Thomas Dillon

For Thomas Dillon's latest contributions to The Japan Times, see below:

| May 11, 2013

What my dentist wants to know

“Ever thought to change your nationality?” This asked by my dentist, as he bent over my mouth and polished my molars with what sounded like a buzz saw. For full effect, repeat his words while running a power tool next to your ear. And ...

| Apr 27, 2013

Carping on carp

Whenever you find someone tossing bits of bread into a pond, you have to assume this: Something’s fishy. “Fish?” the guys snorts. “These aren’t fish. They’re carp. Meaning they’re a lot closer to cows. Fat, stupid cows.” The water below him froths with the ...

Cheering for cherries

| Mar 16, 2013

Cheering for cherries

If the Grinch — that well-known wet blanket of holiday mirth — were both a betting man and Japanese, it wouldn’t be Christmas he was after. Nor New Year’s, nor the Emperor’s birthday, nor Golden Week, nor National Toilet Day (Nov. 10. Mark it ...

| Mar 2, 2013

All lost in the lost-and-found

I’d lost my keys. Which is unsettling enough. For you do not begin to truly ransack your brain — where in the rising sun could they be? — until you’ve ransacked your house. And I mean ransack. Drawers emptied, floorboards pried, every pocket of ...

| Feb 23, 2013

Driving me crazy

Next to my house lies a carpet of land not flat enough to resist puddles and not sandy enough to attract cats. It just sits there. Empty. “Symbolic,” says a friend, “of the hole in your life.” He means the car I do not ...

| Jan 19, 2013

Signs of Kansai

At the end of lunch with an old friend, I point out yet another hole in my Swiss cheese knowledge of Japan. “I’ve never really understood this whole ‘Kansai/Kanto’ thing. I mean, sure, I’ve traveled to Kyoto, Osaka and so on. But I’ve never ...

| Jan 5, 2013

When in doubt, keep running

My buddy grinds his teeth and says, “You know what irks about this country?” And so I summon all the usual suspects . . . The insular mindset? The high cost of living? The crowded trains? The summer heat? “No,” he hisses. “It’s in ...

| Dec 15, 2012

A peek inside the cave

The term “man cave” has been added to the dictionary. At last. I’m referring to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, but surely those other country clubs of words and wisdom will follow suit. For once you’ve been welcomed by the language Vanderbilts, everyone else soon yearns ...

| Dec 1, 2012

When the past catches up

“Ha ha! I can’t believe it’s you!” The man extends his hand as if pointing a pistol. I spin around, just to check, but there is no mistaking. The target is me. He wrenches my wrist. “How long has it been, I wonder? Years ...